Thursday, January 3, 2013

An Extraordinary and Ordinary Year

A New Year. 2013. There really isn't anything special about this number or year, in particular. It's an ordinary integer, and you probably have never heard of anyone saying, "Well, in 2013....", unless it was last year sometime. That's okay, though. You know what I think? I think this year will take us all by surprise, in a major way.

 I won't bore you with resolutions and how I must lose weight and eat better and go to church. I will tell you, however what will happen. I am my own seuth-sayer, and man, I mean it. This is the year that I dig my heels in. It's the year that I realize that I must try, and I must step over the edge and fly, because I can and because I want to. This is (another) one of those years, that come December 31st, I look back on one of the greatest years of my life. It's an absolute, I tell you.

I am not going to change the way I am. I am not going to make grand promises to my self and only wallow in failure in no more than 60 days from now. I HOPE that despair will not find me, and sadness alludes us all. I am one of those people, even as a kid, who prepared for the worst outcomes internally, but when true tragedy was upon me, I never saw it coming. This year, as others, I'll be happily blind to it, and go on, hand in hand, with my three boys. I'll be ordinary. I'll fly under the radar. I won't create a stir.

In the twilight of 2013, our littlest will be walking running around the house and chattering with high pitched delight. I will have another in pre-school and underwear. He'll teach us what he learned that day at the dinner table, as we did with our parents. They'll both amaze us, make us cry, and touch the deepest depths of our hearts and our souls. And then there's my husband...

For the past few years, I have been recovering both physically and emotionally from two births, child rearing, and trying to find pockets of time to catch some sleep. Alone. We have been parents. Together. We have lent a hand to one another as we climbed and slid up and down the mountain of financial strain, emotional well being, parenting and career management. This year will be more of the same and then some. This year, we will make a point to stop, look and realize that we are meant to be here together. Enjoy one another a little more and make time. More time. Time that is there for the taking, and it'll be ours, together. We'll be spontaneous and silly and continue our weekly rituals of farmer's market trips and watching bad movies. It's our thing, after all.

I feel that we are on the peak of that hill and we can see a plateau, with a road. A paved one. Paved with the years of hard work, love and the building of our tiny empire. I want to run so fast down the road to see what's ahead, but yet, I want to stop and notice the new gray hair on my head and the baby's little feet kicking, kicking, kicking their way to strength and standing. All will make me smile, and all will be extraordinary. I am so excited for this year. I truly became exhilarated on New Year's Eve. I'd like to think that it was purely coincidence that my renaissance was the first of the year, but it is not. Like the road I see ahead, it look a lot to get where I am at this time, yes, but we all feel a little renewed. My camera sits near me now, and even it seems to be moving with delight and anticipation of what this year will bring it.

I wish you the best this year. I wish you all that you need, and some of what you want. Mostly, I wish for you to smile, dream and hope a lot in 2013, and beyond. It is not in years that we measure happiness and it is certainly not a measure of hard work, but I hope for all of us, that we do see a pay day for all of that soon. Slow down where you need, speed up in the other spots. Live how you wish to, and above all, live like you want to. I think we will, I certainly do.